If......But... Maybe.... Really

I have not been in a very good place the past few days. It happens, things just seem out of sorts, just a little off. I have been short fused and temperamental which happens, I don't like it but it happens. Dreading Blair leaving, Gar's grades, my work, just a bit stressed.

This morning I was preparing my Sunday School lesson for my 3rd and 4th grade girls and it spoke to me.... imagine that. Parables of the sower, mustard seed and the weeds. How I respond to God's Word is Important.
 Matthew 13:²⁰ The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. ²¹ But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. ²² The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. ²³ But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.

I finished my lesson and the whole time I was getting ready I am just thinking the words  IF you would, but what if, are you sure .... It was as if God was saying really Brigitte--- do you trust me,really trust me, do you hear my words and follow them, don't you know I am in control?

Clay was laid off Dec 15th, I closed on a fabulous deal Jan 7th. Perfect timing that will allow Clay to really look for a good fit.   Am I really saying what if.... I am not sure...... My heart knows God's true and perfect provision and plan, why can I not just accept this, but my mind is still saying what if, are you sure.

Blair is leaving to go back to school. What If ....she doesn't make her grades, makes bad friends, bad choices... God is saying Brigitte she is in my hands don't you trust me. Look at her she is doing good.

Garrett is growing up and testing the waters with really very calm, very normal things. School work, video games, schedules. I am saying he is not focused, he has to grow up. But Brigitte.. don't you see his big heart, his love for people, his kindness. He is in My hands too.

My marriage... Ok I know there will be times we don't agree, times we will not see eye to eye and times we might make each other crazy.  I am saying we have been here before, if only he would do.............. God is saying  But he is, he does,he loves you really loves you, put your marriage in my hands.  Don't you trust me don't know I have this.

So as I ramble to all of you and surely make no sense whatsoever. What I saw this morning was that I do not want to be the person that hears the word and has no root, the person that lets the enemy snatch it from my heart or lets the world choke me out, and lets fear and doubt rule my life. I want to bear good fruit, to be fruitful and to really trust Him. To hear his word, to trust it and to have great faith.

I started this blog on the 13th and never finished it.
I love to see God work and am just amazed at times. He knows our every need.
Thank you Lord for always providing. I often need reminders to trust you and I mean to really trust you.

Only trust him, only trust him, only trust him now.
He will save you he will save you he will save you now.
.
All to Jesus I surrender;
all to him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust him,
in his presence daily live.
I surrender all, I surrender all,
all to thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to thee;
fill me with thy love and power;
let thy blessing fall on me.

Sorry---I love old hymns
http://www.hymnsite.com/