I am going to give this a try again. Not looking good since I have not posted here since December. I have had lots of facebook thoughts...maybe that counts!
August 15, 2012
August 14, 2012
Ache 8-10-2012
Ache in my heart. Yes. Heavy, tightness, aching. I am feeling this and yet it was not my son. But it was someone’s son, our friend’s son and my heart hurts for them. Aches. We have had a tough week and then I cannot imagine their week. I sit to post a facebook thought and then the thought seems so shallow, so senseless. So I type and I erase and then I don’t post. I hear conversations around me and some are important and some are so useless. I hold my words, my real thoughts. My sister says I have to stop this. I know I have to. We have life, life is happening and those conversations that seem senseless to me are important to others. My thoughts are rambling and my head is full and my heart aches and then I feel His presence and I cannot imagine not having it. I can’t imagine not being able to feel, trust and know with my being that God is in control and that He loves me. Then I think…. people do not have this, they do not know Him.
I have said to a few people that maybe I have taken God for granted and that I never want to do that again. Last Thursday I felt His presence so strongly and it left me in awe. I sat in church Sunday singing songs that I have sang over and over. The tears started. Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down, here I am to say that you’re my God .Your altogether lovely all together wonderful to me. I was overwhelmed. How many times have I sung this going thru the motions? Really. I’ll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon the cross…..tears yes, for heartache yes, but tears for the ache in my heart that is not an ache but the presence of the Holy Spirit. Overwhelming ….yes.
Then we sang this. Scars and struggles on the way, But with joy our hearts can say Yes, our hearts can say Never once did we ever walk alone Never once did You leave us on our own You are faithful, God, You are faithful Every step we are breathing in Your grace Evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise.
I see and hear this…. evermore, I need to be breathing out his Praise. We hear that we have this moment; we know that things can happen. Yet we live thinking, not me, it won’t happen or we have been lucky. We live in a world full of lost people and yet we just live and we do not act and we do not tell. Do these people see Jesus in us or do they see empty worship, senseless conversations. That young man, our friends son, he is in Heaven, rejoicing, worshiping. What about others? I just pray and trust that God will use me to show people Jesus. I don’t want to be silent, I don’t want to take Him for granted. I want to live, live for Him!
I have said to a few people that maybe I have taken God for granted and that I never want to do that again. Last Thursday I felt His presence so strongly and it left me in awe. I sat in church Sunday singing songs that I have sang over and over. The tears started. Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down, here I am to say that you’re my God .Your altogether lovely all together wonderful to me. I was overwhelmed. How many times have I sung this going thru the motions? Really. I’ll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon the cross…..tears yes, for heartache yes, but tears for the ache in my heart that is not an ache but the presence of the Holy Spirit. Overwhelming ….yes.
Then we sang this. Scars and struggles on the way, But with joy our hearts can say Yes, our hearts can say Never once did we ever walk alone Never once did You leave us on our own You are faithful, God, You are faithful Every step we are breathing in Your grace Evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise.
I see and hear this…. evermore, I need to be breathing out his Praise. We hear that we have this moment; we know that things can happen. Yet we live thinking, not me, it won’t happen or we have been lucky. We live in a world full of lost people and yet we just live and we do not act and we do not tell. Do these people see Jesus in us or do they see empty worship, senseless conversations. That young man, our friends son, he is in Heaven, rejoicing, worshiping. What about others? I just pray and trust that God will use me to show people Jesus. I don’t want to be silent, I don’t want to take Him for granted. I want to live, live for Him!
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